A Blonde Journal
January
Had to take my Christmas scarf back to store — it was way too tight!
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. I really tried, but those bottles wouldn’t fit in the typewriter!
March
Exciting success! I finished the jigsaw puzzle I got for Christmas after only two-and-a-half months — even the box said “2-4 years”!
April
Missed the deadline for filing income tax due to being trapped on escalator for several hours on my way to the post office (the power went out!)
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid, but the instructions were wrong — 8 cups of water simply do not fit into those little packets!
June
Tried to go water skiing, but I couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast-stroke swimming competition. Learned later the other swimmers cheated: they used their arms!
August
Got locked out of my car in huge rain storm. Car interior ruined because convertible top was down.
September
Missed getting on “Jeopardy” because I missed the first test question. I was sure the capital of California is “C”!
October
Realized I hate M&M’s — they are too hard to peel.
November
Thanksgiving turkey ruined, even though I followed the directions perfectly (instructions said 1 hour per pound, and I weigh 118. I know you have to prepare big dinners in advance, but 5 days is ridiculous!)
December
Fell off step stool while decorating Christmas tree, but couldn’t call 911 — there’s no “eleven” button on the stupid phone!
All in all, 2008 was a terrible year. I sure hope 2009 is better.
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