2 Jokes

Brain Transplant
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor. It’s so large they have to do a brain transplant. His doctor gives him a choice of available brains. There’s a jar of scientist brains for $10 an ounce, a jar of rocket scientist brains for $15 an ounce, and a jar of lawyer brains for $800 an ounce. The outraged lawyer says: “This is a rip-off! How come the lawyer brains are so damn expensive?” The doctor replies: “Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?”

92 Year Old Studly
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from bingo to find her 92-year-old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th-floor apartment, killing him instantly. Brought before the court on the charge of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say in her own defense: “Your Honor,” she began coolly: “I figured that, at 92, if he could screw, he could also fly.”