2 Jokes

Manic depression
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked,
“How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”
A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?”

Suicidal Blonde
A blonde and a brunette are living together. The brunette came home from work one day only to discover that the blonde had a rope tied snugly around her waist. The brunette asked what she was doing and the blonde replied that she was trying to commit suicide.
“You idiot!” the brunette shouted, “You put it around your neck!”
“I tried that,” the blonde replied, “but I couldn’t breathe!”