Just for Laughs (9 jokes)

Two men met while both where looking for their lost wives.
1st: How yours look like?
2nd: She is 5″7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Lets find yours!!!

~~~

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, “If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends”.

~~~

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

~~~

Husband asks , “Do you know the meaning of WIFE??
“Without Information Fighting Everytime”
Wife replies,” No, It means , “With Idiot For Ever!!!”

~~~

Three Feelings:
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.

~~~

Teacher: Do you know the importance of period?
Kid: Yes, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

~~~

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are yours ???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

~~~

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad says, you are my son, I’m confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s confidential!

~~~

Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints…