Joke: Good Marketing

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While walking down the street one day, a high ranking politician is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in.” says the politician.

“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the politician.
“I’m sorry but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts the politician to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.”

So 24 hours pass with the politician head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers, “Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the politician and lays an arm on his neck.
“I don’t understand,” stammers the politician. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.”
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us.”

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21 Need A Bit Of Help

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Hilarious Pictures

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Jennifer Aniston Tests The Vibrating Bra

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Ellen recently featured hilarious vibrating bra inserts on the show, so when Jennifer Aniston stopped by, Ellen couldn’t help but ask her to try them out!

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Joke: Politician

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The parents were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career.
They decided to do a small test. They took a ten-dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, and hid, pretending they’re not home.
The father’s plan was: ‘If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest – but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I’m afraid our son will be a drunkard.’
So, the parents waited nervously, hiding in the nearby closet. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive.
The son saw the note they had left. Then, he took the 10-dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flicked through it, and took it. Then, he grabbed the bottle, opened it and took a whiff, to get assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all the three items.
The father slapped his forehead, and said: ‘Darn. Our son is going to be a politician!’

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Joke: The Golfer Husband

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The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.

On Saturday morning George was there at exactly 10:00. He golfed right handed and won the round.

Next Saturday rolls around, and George says that he will be there, but he may be 10 minutes late again. He shows up right on time, golfs left handed, and wins the round. This continues for the next few weeks, with Geoge always saying that he may be 10 minutes late, and then always winning the round golfing, either left or right handed.

The other employees are getting tired of this, and decided to ask him what the deal was. They said, “George, every Saturday you say you may be ten minutes late. You never are. Then you show up and golf with either right handed or left handed, and always win. What is up with that?”

George replies, “Well, I am a very superstitious kind of guy. Every Saturday when I wake up, I look over at my wife. If she is sleeping on her left side, I golf left handed. If she is sleeping on her right side, I golf right handed.”

“Well,” one of the employees questioned, “What happens if she is laying on her back?” George replies, “Then I am 10 minutes late.”

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Pescar Ghinionist

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Asta e cel mai mare ghinion pe care il poate avea un pescar la copca!

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The Ninja Cats

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You may not even know it, but your house could be home to a very special, very dangerous kind of creature – the Ninja Cat. They live their life in modesty and secrecy, appearing to many as normal cats… until they spring into ninja action, amazing us with their skills and stealth. Read this post to find out – maybe you have a cat ninja in your house too.

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Breathtaking Morning Views From the Tent

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Imagine waking up and rolling out of bed to be greeted by a brilliant mountain sunrise, with a gurgling frigid stream below you and blue skies above you. Russian photographer Oleg Grigoryev takes us into the mountains in his Morning Views From The Tent series, in which he frames beautiful mountain photos with his outstretched legs and his tent flap.

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